Mod Podge, Oh My Godge!

I recently was invited to a very prestigious crafting event at a good friend's apartment. A select group of 20-something white women from all walks of life - from the gainfully employed to grad students - all came together, putting differences in decorating sensibilities aside, and Mod Podged. We glued paper to canvas and created inspired canvases filled with paper. The crafting event was a time of building woman-to-woman relationships, discussing careers, and wondering when men of marriageable ages would return our texts. In short, it was Sex In the City meets Girls meets Oprah meets Oprah's Favorite Things meets Oprah's Book Club, with an emphasis on crafting.

Mod Podge adheres more than just paper to canvas... it is the glue that holds friendships together, and cat hair to the floor. But you might be wondering, how do I Mod Podge a canvas, and can I do it alone? The answer is I'll tell you and yes, but it's sad.

The first thing you need for Mod Podge crafting is Mod Podge. It's a large container of glue that you can find in any craft store, Target, Walmart, or best friend's apartment. You will also need something to spread the glue with, this can be a paint brush or a foam brush or a napkin - but probably the first two.




Photo from a legitimate crafting blog

I normally use the Matte finish because it's easier to tell when it's dry, and being from the midwest I don't like too much shine. Additionally, you will need small canvases and magazines or different types of colorful paper.







Photos from Wikipedia and baby blog, lilsugar.com. Babies love paper.

So that's really all you need. And maybe some paint and scissors. And a couple bottles of wine. The next thing to do is find your inspiration. This can be found on TV, the Internet, books, and Starbucks. Once you have an inspired theme, go with it! Start cutting out photos in magazines... maybe you want celebrities posing with Muppets or food animals, I know I did.

Then go ahead and lay out your design BEFORE Mod Podging to the canvas. It is important to remember the before part. I've overestimated my crafting abilities in the past, only to be left with tearful voicemail trails to my mother that end in her telling me "an artist can always fix her mistakes." Can she really?

Once you've determined the layout of your canvas, remove the paper in segments and brush on Mod Podge. Then place the paper back on top of the Mod Podged area, and spread more over top of it to seal it in. You might also consider painting on your canvas and using three dimensional paper shapes for added flair. Be sure to allow enough time for drying (about one Lifetime movie). Here are some examples of what you can expect to create:




The flowers really pop, while adding words really forces people to look at your work. Nice.




This is a man board to remind straight women of what to hold out for. Note the wine in hand, this moves the creative process along nicely.




A smattering of artful canvases. You'll want to enlarge this photo for more detail.

You can hang your art in your home, your office, or gift them to friends and family who understand that handmade gifts are priceless (i.e. your mom or grandma). Happy crafting!!

Holidaying

Christmas is a time of love (actually), family (stone), and little women (turns out most people don't really gain that much weight during the holidays, it's in the suicide-inducing weeks following Christmas that people tend to stress eat, so no worries there). One of the best ways to get in the holiday/ Christmas spirit besides watching original movies on the Hallmark Channel is to decorate. And one of the best ways to decorate is to flip through a December issue of Martha, pour yourself a mug of Trader Joe's holiday ale, text your college weed dealer, head back to Trader Joes for another bottle of ale because your college weed dealer has a real job now, set up a Twitter account for your grandma, and wake up the next morning feeling guilty. Now you're ready to decorate.

Guilt is an integral part of the Christmas season. Without guilt there would be no reason for church, without church, there would be no reason for Jesus, and without Jesus there would be no reason for the season. It's all a part of the Christmas cycle of life. I'm not sure how it works for other religious winter holidays, but I'm guessing it's similar.

Let's start with the decorations your mom mailed you. Anything with an embroidered rocking horse or jack-in-the-box should go up first, to remind you of what this season is all about. Next, place any warm cinnamon, fiery pine, or burnt cookie scented candles in the kitchen, bathroom, and living room so your home smells like a sweet, elf cookie-factory cabin in the middle of the forest that is about to go up in flames. People love that.




Gift wrapping is another issue that we all have to deal with, some of us handle it better than others. I fall into The Others camp (obviously Nicole Kidman plays me in this 2001 horror-film version of my life). Wrapping has always been a struggle for me, and at special holiday times I don't want people to see me struggle. So I use gift bags that I save throughout the year. The only thing to remember here is to remove the name tag, and/or rewrite the name on the tag so it looks like the new gift recipient's name. For example, you can change "Kelly" to "Keviy" quite easily, and in the process your boyfriend gets a new nickname! It's two gifts in one.







I hope these little tips help send you on your way this holiday season. And, in the wise words of Sufjan Stevens, "No one can save you from Christmases past... if drinking makes it easy, the music's kinda cheesy." This was taken out of context, but I think we all understand what he means.
Merry Christmas/ holidays!