Rosey Glow like J.Lo Yo

When I imagine my face in the morning, I feel that I look something like this:

Dewey, fresh, and singing something auto-tuned.  But it's not, I really look more like this:

 
Scared, muppety, and wondering why I married Russell Brand.  Phew... that last part was only a nightmare, an international tabloid nightmare.

Anyway, in order to attempt a J.Glow, I have been using rose water as a face toner.  Rose water is great for your mind, body, soul, and close-up self photos taken in your bathroom and uploaded to Pinterest boards entitled "Beauty," "Tresses," and "Someday when I have kids..."  But not just any rose water will do.  It needs to have meaning.  That's why I made mine from the petals of a dried and decayed wedding bouquet I caught in 2008 and kept next to my bedside table to remind myself that one day the "Engaged!?!'" Pinterest Board I have been updating daily for 6 years would achieve it's final purpose.  Things haven't happened yet, but I know that rose water is putting me on that path, (or should I say aisle?...  my mom says probably not if I don't want to scare men away).

Here's how to make your own love potion/adulthood milestone-achievement rose water.  Start with rose petals.  These can be dried (as I mentioned above), or fresh.  If you don't have roses around, no problem, head to your local supermarket and tear some off of the flower arrangements in the floral department.  I find that there are rarely employees in this department, and it is also conveniently located next to the liquor aisle.

Put your rose petals into a glass jar, preferably an old spaghetti sauce jar.  This was preferable for me because I made spaghetti last night.  Next, heat up a cup of water until it's almost boiling.  I'm not sure how long that takes, so I just push 1-1-1 on the microwave.  This way you don't have to move your finger.  It's a win-win.

Now is the tricky part.  Pour the hot water into the jar so that you just cover the rose petals.  The hard part is trying to take a picture of it at the same time.  I would recommend not doing that.

Swirl the water around in the jar and let it stand for a couple of minutes.  Then strain over a thin cloth and pour into another glass jar.  Preferably an old salsa jar.  Again, this worked for me but maybe you have other jars at home, idk.

And there you have it.  You'll need to store this in the fridge and it lasts for about a week.  You may need to label the rose water so as not to confuse it with urine.  Enjoy!